I’m not living the life I want. I’m not sure what has led me to this place, but I’m not doing the things I want to do, and I’m not the person I want to be. I’ve been trying to make the most of the situations I’m in, but that isn’t going to cut it any more. It is time for change. It’s time to start Living the Dream.
Let’s start with the things that need work:
- I’m in a relationship that I’ve put a tremendous amount of emotional energy into, but feel unwanted and unimportant.
- I’m not being the hands-on, present, supportive mom I want to be.
- I treasure my friends and family, but don’t feel I’ve given back as much as they’ve given me.
- I’ve put limits on what I can achieve, and self-sabotaged my efforts to succeed.
- I judge others, primarily because those closest to me have done so and I’ve picked up the habit.
That was harder than I thought it was going to be to put in writing!
What do I want?
- To be in a supportive, loving relationship.
- To make time for each of my children. Do homework with them, engage in activities individually and together, help them realize their dreams.
- To listen and be more supportive of those around me. I do feel that I’ve made progress in this area.
- Confidence to realize that I can do anything I put my mind to. Whether that is losing weight, running faster, or “having it all.”
- Realize that I can only control my own actions and beliefs, and to question why I am judging others.
How will I achieve this?
- Decide if I want to confront the relationship head on (which hasn’t been successful in the past), suggest we take a break, or co-exist and focus on myself for a little while.
- Sleep a little less (this will take some work!), so I can fit my workouts in when the kids are sleeping. Prepare healthy snacks when they get home from school and do a healthy activity with them. Review their homework before school.
- Schedule more time for family. Schedule outings with friends that don’t necessarily involve running 🙂
- Push myself beyond the comfortable. Try even if I might fail. Focus on the journey, and that often it takes failure to get to success.
- Realize that when I judge, I am feeling threatened and that putting someone down is really not going to make me feel better about myself. I highly recommend this article as it was a good start for me.
So this was a little deep, and not altogether running-related, but things I really needed to get off my chest and put out into the universe. Now that these issues are out there, I can get to work!